Distance
by Yui-Mag
Summary: Hikaru starts to figure out his feelings and thoughts about his rival. But Touya, Akira has plans to move abroad.
1. Default Chapter

1

**Distance**

Touya Akira watched with patience as another go stone was misplaced, the move was a weak hand. He hid the sigh he so wanted to let out in the open, his hand moving on its own accord and reaching for one of the smooth and cool to the touch stones. With the stone placed properly in between his fingers, he made his own move, never faltering as he continued his strong attack. Only a few more minutes of this… only a few more minutes….

"I resign." The voice was soft as it spoke the words that released Akira from just the game. Slowly the world surrounding them came back into his senses. He bowed his head in acceptance. 

"Thank you for the game." Akira muttered gently. "Would you like to go over the game?" The young pro before him nodded and then looked up at him bleakly. It was only when the other looked up that Akira was able to look around and realize that they were being watched by others. Or more specifically one other person. His green eyes caught hold of a determined gaze looking at their game with such intensity that it made his breath stay stuck in his throat. Shindo Hikaru. 

A different Shindo than the mindless brat he had first met up with so many years ago. The brat that had beaten him and talked so arrogantly and with so… so much disrespect for a game that Akira had already accepted as his life, his soul. That old Shindo had been wild, immature… so different than Akira and it reflected in his eyes.

Now those light green-gray eyes were serious, intense… looking for something. He was a rival now. No… it was more than that. Shindo was _his_ eternal rival. The only one who was trying so hard to catch up to him and actually had a chance to make it by his side. It was Shindo's new strength that was making Akira hunger even more for the Hand of God. It was this Shindo that had made life something more meaningful than it had been before. 

Those eyes looked up from the Go board and caught Akira's. A smile spread over the young man's face in acknowledgement at having been noticed. He moved closer when no one said anything and waited for the review of the game to begin. 

"Nice game." He muttered to the new pro. The lost teen that had been paired with Touya was one that Hikaru envied even though he saw that the poor boy had been scared half to death at the older pro's intensity. "You fought well in this corner but…"

"…but you misplaced this stone, not reading far ahead in my moves. This made you lose the pattern and therefore your territory." Akira continued for Shindo since it was the game he had just finished playing. The younger boy looked between the two nineteen year olds with a mixed look of awe and fear. If one thing was clear in the Go world it was that the two top pros were Shindo and Touya… and that the two were known for getting on each other's nerves. After a few more minutes of reviewing the game with Shindo's comments here and there, Akira again bowed his head to the new pro that had joined them. "It will be interesting in watching you grow." He said softly. The boy bowed and blushed. 

"Arigato." He muttered before shakily getting up and walking away. Akira sighed, a small smile tugging at his lip. Were they so scary that the lad would forget about cleaning the board? He shook his head, his shoulder length hair following the movement. With deft movement he cleaned half the board, quickly picking out the white Go stones from the black ones and placing them in their rightful containers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shindo's hands come and start cleaning off the other half of the board. 

"You didn't have to do that." Akira muttered after thanking him. Shindo gave him another smile and shrugged. "How was your game?"

"Good… it was fun. I think his name was Hibiki? Something like that… he was ok." Shindo's smile got even larger. "I didn't scare him half as bad as you scared yours. What the hell did you do to him?" Akira widened his eyes in surprise.

"I didn't do anything." He stated frankly. "I just played Go."

"Knowing you… that's scary enough." Shindo chuckled. 

"Well…" Akira started diplomatically, keeping his temper in check. "You didn't help matters." At that comment Shindo made a face and huffed a little. "Are we still meeting this Friday at the Go salon?" He asked, changing the subject because in actuality… he was quite tired and he did not want to fight Shindo today. He never really wanted to have these verbal wars that they always seemed to end up with… they just happened. 

"Of course." Shindo answered automatically, too startled to say anything else at the sudden change. 

"You won't be late again." Akira stated flatly. With Shindo one could never know. The nineteen year old with blond dyed bangs blushed and scratched his head. 

"You're never going to forget that are you?" 

"Probably not." Akira agreed and gave a small smile as he saw Shindo's blush deepen. 

"I swear it wasn't my fault. I just got so tired with all those college entrance exams and my mom was on my case again and…" Akira stood up, stopping the flow of words. They would never stop once that boy started and it was always the same excuse. He really didn't need to hear them. 

"Are your friends still here?" He asked as they both reached the elevator. Shindo shook his head. "I was the last one to finish?" The young man nodded. "Hn… figures. The boy I played was good but took very long to decide each move."

"I noticed." Shindo muttered, walking into the elevator as its metal door slid open.

"Did you watch the whole game?" Akira asked surprised.

"Nearly…" Shindo whispered.

…

            "Nearly…" He found himself whispering as he heard Touya come into the elevator behind him. He felt the heat of his earlier blush that had nearly cooled down come back full force. He gritted his teeth and nudged the tip of his shoe into the gray carpet. Stupid emotions. Stupid thoughts. So what if he'd made sure to play the fastest just so he could to go see Touya playing? It didn't mean anything. 

The guy was his rival… and more than anything Hikaru wanted to know every move the man made. He wanted to know Touya…

That was it. Nothing else. It didn't matter if his mind screamed at him sometimes that it was something else. It didn't matter that stupid Waya thought it was something more. Just because that punk was gay didn't mean he was! It didn't matter at all 'cause it wasn't true. He needed--wanted to know more about Touya 'cause he was his rival.

He looked up to see Touya's sharp green eyes looking at him with some worry. Hikaru looked up and away, letting his arms rise in the air as if he was stretching. Touya's gaze was always so intense… so strong… compelling…Sometimes Hikaru felt that he would lose himself in their strength and that Touya could see right through him.

            "Man today was tiring!" He moaned. Touya snorted and it was only because he was too well trained in being polite that he didn't roll his eyes, Hikaru was sure of that. He bit the inside of his cheek. The last thing he wanted was to have Touya know about him. "So what are you going to do now?" He asked, hating the silence. The young man beside him looked startled at the question and frowned slightly. 

            "Go home I suppose. Start cooking something…" Hikaru's stomach growled at the thought of food and he made a face, glaring at it. If Touya found it amusing or if he had heard it at all, he gave no indication of it. 

            "I didn't know you could cook." Hikaru muttered instead. Touya blinked. 

            "Well… how else would I survive, Shindo? I can't exactly live off of just Go you know." 

            "I know _that_! Baka!" Hikaru saw Touya's eyes narrow and he grinned. He was, to his knowledge, the only one that had ever called Touya Akira a baka… on several occasions and gotten away with it with only other such words shared between them. Their verbal attacks were well known in the Go word. It was possibly one of his favorite past times to hit Touya's nerves and make him break out of that cool, collected shell other than playing Go. "But I mean…" He shrugged. He didn't quite know what to say actually. He had known that Touya had been living on his own for quite awhile now but still, he had always imagined Touya with his parents or something. But that was stupid and he knew it. Hikaru still lived with his… and part of the reason was that he didn't know how to cook. Knowing his luck he would have burned down the apartment after living in it for two seconds. Not even… He sighed. "… I dunno… your mom could send you care packages or something." He watched as Touya raised an eyebrow at that. "What? It's true!" He exclaimed. "The only reason Waya is still alive is because he got care packages for about a month. Then Isumi came back and taught him how to cook and thank god cause… I tasted Waya's cooking once and man…" The door to the elevator opened, letting the two out. Shindo's words came to a halt. "Well…I guess… Have fun cooking!" His stomach growled louder and he blushed. "See you Friday!" 

            "Shindo…" Touya started gently, stopping Hikaru's almost frantic waves. "You are impossible." He muttered. "Impossible and hungry… would you like some dinner?" Hikaru blushed the hardest that he had all day. And he found himself nodding slowly before his mind could even register the question. 

            "I just have to call Waya cause…"

            "…Because you are staying with him and Isumi-san this week since your parents are gone for the week. I know." Touya finished for him with patience. Hikaru grinned weakly. 

            "Do I talk _that_ much?" He asked. Touya shook his head. 

            "No… "This time it was Touya's pale features to redden slightly. "I overheard Waya-san complaining about how cramped his apartment was with the three of you." 

            "Aah…"

            "My apartment isn't too far away. I hope you don't mind walking." Hikaru shook his head and remained quiet, wondering the extent of Touya's cooking talent. That thought led to others including what Touya's apartment would look like… and did Touya wear a cooking apron when he cooked? His mother did… the thought of Touya wearing one made him laugh and he was given one of those odd looks that meant…"You're insane…I know this but still—You. Are. Insane." He gave the other man a shrug while trying to repress the mental image that had popped into his head. They turned right onto another road and continued walking. Waya didn't wear an apron when he cooked…neither did Isumi. He sighed. That meant that Akira… Touya didn't wear one either. He needed to watch himself. He couldn't exactly call the guy by his first name. They weren't exactly friends after all…or were they? He didn't know. He couldn't know. The sigh that came from his mouth now was a bit depressed. He hated thinking… It was the main reason he always talked to keep such thoughts from entering his mind. "Its here." Touya crossed the street and rummaged through his suit's pocket to take out his key. He opened the door in a quick motion and stepped aside letting Hikaru go in first. "The elevator is on the left." The man instructed. Hikaru spotted it and pressed the button that would take them up. His eyes were wide as he took in the building's appearance. 

            "This place is nice." He gave a soft whistle and then jumped slightly as the elevator gave a small ring to announce its arrival. He glared at it before going in. "What floor are you on?" Touya muttered three as he came in as well and pushed the button. The doors slid to a close and Hikaru felt his stomach drop a bit as the elevator first started moving up. "So… I can't believe you live here?! It's gotta be pretty expensive and… hell… I didn't know there was so much security. Waya's apartment building is open. I mean… he doesn't have a key for the front door of the building… just his own apartment." Touya nodded and gave a small frown. 

            "Where does Waya-san live? Isn't it a bit dangerous that anyone can come in?" He asked gently. Hikaru shrugged. 

            "Nah…" He smiled. "The worst they've had in unwanted visitors were a couple of squirrels and oh… a lost little girl." 

            "And you, I'm sure." Touya muttered. 

            "HEY!" 

            "Just kidding, Shindo." The nineteen year old smiled a smile almost uncharacteristic. Hikaru at the sight was at a loss for words. At the silence, Touya's smile disappeared. "I was just joking… anyone can see how close you three are and…" He trailed off, his eyes still worried even as Hikaru smiled back at him. 

            "I can't believe it! You cracked a joke! You smiled… that's awesome!" He slapped the other boy's back just in time for the elevator to reach the third floor. They walked out with Hikaru half leaning on Touya, laughing now at the event that had just passed them. Touya had a slight pained look on his face but continued walking as straight as he could until he reached the door to his apartment. 

…

            Shindo's weight on him was slightly unnerving. He really had no idea why he had invited his eternal rival to his apartment but he had to confess that it relieved him a bit that he wouldn't be alone for another couple of hours. Being alone twenty four hours had soon lost its sense of adventure that the first few days of freedom had given it. It had been lonely after that… and he didn't have that many people he would want to have over to keep him company. 

            Akira unlocked the door with some difficulty until he nudged the still laughing Shindo with a pointed glare and a gentle elbow to the stomach. Even if Shindo had matured quite a bit he could still be such a… kid. It was cute at times and annoying at other times. He let the half dyed blond head into his apartment with a slightly exasperated affectionate glance. A surge of slight nervousness settled into his stomach as he watched his rival enter his apartment and look at the new surroundings. It was so bland and boring Akira suddenly noticed. There was nothing really in it except… well… Go. And some other various stuff scattered hear and there in an organized arrangement. Shindo turned around as the door closed and smiled. 

            "I like it."

            "Hn… Make yourself comfortable. I'll be in the kitchen." Hikaru blinked and quailed at the thought of being alone when he could be with Touya. 

            "Can't I help you with something? And hey! I have to call Waya… could I use your phone?" Akira nodded and pointed to where it was. "Thanks."

Tbc… This should be interesting… Hikaru having dinner at Akira's house and Akira cooking!!!

Coming right up in the next chapter… maybe you'll even find out why the story is called Distance. Maybe, maybe not!!! Hope you enjoyed.


	2. 2

2

            After having called Waya and being teased mercilessly by the redhead over the phone, a red faced Hikaru had made his way into the kitchen without getting lost on the way because a delicious smell was wafting in the air, telling him exactly where to go. He blushed harder as Touya looked up from mixing a sauce of something. 

            "Everything go ok?" He asked, his tone as quiet as usual. 

            "Yeah… Waya's being a jerk that's all." As if that explained anything at all.

            "Oh?" Akira looked away. "It'll be done soon." He muttered, wondering what exactly it was that had made Shindo say that particular thing about his best friend. He sighed inwardly, guessing that it was probably due to the unexplainable hatred that Waya-san held for him. The redhead just couldn't stand his sight… or his name for that matter. He pulled the spoon out of the quick sauce he had pulled together, blowing on it softly before bringing it to his lips. 

Hikaru just watched him, a bit lost. So maybe there was a grain of truth in Waya's words… maybe. Perhaps… but such a tiny grain… it was nothing. Nothing. He looked away, feeling his blush intensify. 

"It's ready." Touya muttered. "Sorry…it's nothing fancy. Just a quick home cooked meal." He smiled as he made his way to the small kitchen table and placed the pot on a mat so to not burn the wood. He then went back to the stove, taking another pot and emptying it out in a strainer to drain the water from the pasta. 

"I'm sorry I took so long on the phone… I didn't even get to help you." Touya shrugged. 

"You're my guest Shindo. It's fine."  He brought the pasta over and filled Hikaru's plate with some until Hikaru said with a slightly panicked voice, "that's good! That's good! Arigato." He placed the rest in his own plate and then pushed the pot with sauce towards his guest. "Eat up Shindo. I promise it's not poisoned." Hikaru smiled at that, and helped himself to the sauce before gathering up his courage and lightly saying something he'd wanted to say for years before.

"You could call me Hikaru, you know. We've known each other for how long now? 6 years?" Akira looked startled to say the least before smiling that soft polite smile that Hikaru had grown used to not seeing. 

"Akira." The nineteen year old then muttered. "Is it good Hikaru?" Hikaru nodded enthusiastically. 

"Very." And with that said, the two continued eating in companionable silence that was only broken with a slight slurp here and there coming from Hikaru's side of the table. 

…

            "Thank you for the meal."

            "You're welcome." Akira answered, taking the dishes and putting them in the sink. Hikaru stood up and walked to the sink and grabbed a dish towel.

            "I can help… if that's ok with you? I promise not to break anything." 

            "That's reassuring." 

…

            "What do you mean… Friday is the last time we'll see each other for awhile? Don't you have games to go to? I mean… where the heck are you gonna be?" Hikaru asked curiously, trying to stop the sudden frantic beat of his heart. He didn't understand where Akira was getting at. The black haired youth put one of the dried dishes away and looked at Hikaru with a larger smile than Hikaru had ever thought would be possible to see on his face. 

            "I'm going to go to China. My plane leaves on Saturday. Father is moving there with mother and they need help. They also would like me to consider about living there… but… well I'm going there to see how I'd like it." The soft spoken words were met with a horrified expression. 

            "But… but what about Go?" _'What about me?'_  "I mean… you're a Japanese pro. You have responsibilities here!" Akira blinked. 

            "I know that." He said a bit frustrated. "I wouldn't be leaving them at all. There is something called an airplane Shindo."

            "Hikaru."

            "Hikaru." Akira amended his tone softening once more. "Think of the possibilities. I could be training with some of the greatest Chinese pros." '_You'll be so far away…'_

            "Is Go all you can ever think of?" Hikaru snapped, shocking Akira.

            "No but…" '_I'm the one who brought it up.'_ "…you asked…" He trailed off. "Are you all right Hikaru? Why is this upsetting you?"

            "You're leaving me behind!" He said angrily. "How else am I supposed to react?" Akira's eyes flashed. 

            "I'm not leaving anyone behind! What is wrong with you? Don't you see that with me learning new moves and then coming back here and playing you-- will only make both of us stronger?" He laid his towel back on the side of the sink, letting it dry. "How do you expect us to reach the hand of god with just…" Whatever he said next, Hikaru didn't hear. He couldn't hear it. He didn't want to. 

            "Whatever. Thank you for dinner." He bowed his head and made his way out of the apartment, lost in thought. Akira was leaving… Akira was leaving…

…

Tbc… Poor Hikaru… huggles the Go player and than huggles Akira cause he's her favorite and anyway, its not his fault he's clueless!!! Lol. The next ch. Will be up as soon as possible. I promise!!!


	3. 3

3

            Akira had been a few hours ago, beyond angry. First Shindo… Hikaru had left him in a hurry after having dinner at his place and then, Hikaru hadn't even bothered to show up for their usual Friday game. Four hours he had waited, endlessly replaying an old game here and there wondering what the heck was going on. If Akira had known Waya's number he would have called to make sure that Hikaru was okay and not hurt but… He didn't know. The anger turned to worry which was how Akira explained to himself why he had gone to the trouble in looking up Waya's address to go hunt down Shindo, Hikaru. Knowing the baka as he did, the blond bleached boy was probably off doing something else, oblivious that he was late. And yet… Hikaru had promised that he wouldn't be late. He wasn't known for breaking promises. 

            The nineteen year old sighed and without thought, ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. He had an irritable thought that this whole thing had to do with the fact that he _might_ move to China. Might. Akira sighed again and wondered why it would even matter to Hikaru so much that he might leave. It wasn't as if he was leaving for good…Nothing made sense. He really shouldn't have been surprised. With Hikaru… nothing ever made sense.

 His breath caught in his throat for a minute as he realized that because he had been lost in his thoughts, Akira had walked right past the apartment building. Cursing the day and all of misfortunes it had brought upon him, Akira grumbled and turned back on his footsteps. Like Hikaru had described to him, there was no security and he was simply allowed to push the door to get in. The air was warm inside the apartment building and the lights flickered a bit as if complaining that they should be fixed as well as the whirring air conditioning that was obviously not doing its job. Akira walked to the staircase with his usual determined pace until he reached the second floor and looked for the right door. He knocked and waited, wondering who would be the one to greet him at the door and hoping that it would not be Waya-san. Of course with how his luck had been going today, the door opened to reveal Waya-san. The redhead scowled at seeing who it was, his greeting trailing off. 

"You…" 

"Hello Waya-san." Akira muttered, his tone equally dry. "I was wondering if I could speak to Hikaru."

"Hikaru?" Waya-san questioned the wording, an eyebrow arched and his look speculative. "You mean he's not with you?" He continued, letting the door open wider and inviting him in. Akira stepped in and took off his shoes near the door while he shook his head in answer. 

"We were supposed to meet four hours ago at a Go salon. He never came. I wanted to make sure everything was ok."  Waya snorted and closed the door behind him. 

"Don't know what to tell you, Touya-_san_." The redhead muttered a bit snidely. "He left around eight this morning. Well, don't just stand there." Akira blinked and then started to follow the redhead further into the room. "Sit." Waya snapped, pointing to a bean bag that was on the floor. Akira tried to hide the surprise from his face. 

"If you don't know where Hikaru is then I won't bother you longer. I—"  Waya glared at him. 

"Sit. I have questions to ask you before I let you go." With a heavy sigh and wondering what the hell he had done to deserve such a day, Akira sat down… not on the bean bag but on his knees, in the position he always took when playing a game of Go. Waya noticed the position and smirked before copying the movement. They sat facing each other for a few minutes in complete silence. It made Akira wonder again why Waya-san held such hatred against him. He couldn't seem to think of anything in particular that he had done that could have angered the other nineteen year old so much. "What the hell did you do to Hikaru Monday night?" Akira blinked caught off guard by the question. 

"Monday?" He wracked his brain. "I… we went over a game I played with one of the Insei and he ate dinner with me. Why?" Then without letting Waya answer his question he snapped with frustration edging his voice. "What does this have to do with anything about where Hikaru is now?" Waya held a hand up, his golden brown eyes holding a strange look in his eyes. 

"Is that all that happened?"

"Yes." Akira answered. "I…" A scowl darkened Akira's face. "What are you thinking of? I'm not known for bullying my rivals, scaring them or poisoning them. And I hate mind games." Waya sighed, grabbing Akira's arm and pulling him back down into a sitting position. 

"That's not what I meant. You really do think only of Go. No wonder Hikaru's frustrated… even if he is oblivious." Waya's mutterings reminded Akira vaguely of an old man's ramblings and he pulled his arm out of the nineteen year old's grasp. That had been the second time in a week that people accused him of thinking only of Go. "Something happened that night. I know something did… something that upset Hikaru a lot more than you think it did. And I want to know what. Did you brush him off or…" Akira sat down dumbly. 

"Hikaru was upset?"  Waya nodded and Akira winced, believing the redhead. Waya was not known for lying. "He got angry when I said I was possibly thinking of moving to China." He sighed. "I really don't see why I'm having this conversation with you. Thank you for your help. Tell Hikaru that I hope he is ok when you see him. I have to go pack. I've wasted enough time…" 

"He likes you."  Those words that left Waya's lips made Akira stop half way through the motion of getting up. 

"Excuse me?" He asked, not quite believing he had heard correctly. 

"Hikaru likes you. In the romantic sense." Waya added the last part to make sure that everything was quite clear. Akira blinked and dropped back to his knees. 

"What…I mean… how?" Some part of him knew he was rambling and hated the fact that he was being flustered by the turn of events. He was too used to being in control, to know exactly what to expect and how to deal with any event and yet… how the hell was he supposed to deal with this? He hadn't even thought it was possible. He hadn't even thought that…

"I have no clue." Waya muttered, taking in Akira's startled and almost scared appearance. "Believe me… it's not been a picnic for him to get to know you or anything!" That was not what Akira had needed to hear. "In my opinion you're the most arrogant little prick who ever walked this earth but Hikaru doesn't see it that way. He really admires you and I don't want you hurting him! Do you understand that?" 

"I…" Akira had started, still too startled to actually comprehend everything that was going on. "I would never…" 

"Good…" And then Waya started ranting, telling Akira all the signs that the other boy had missed in Hikaru's behavior. So lost were the two, one in anger and one in fear/confusion that neither ever heard the door opening nor saw a paling Hikaru run in followed quickly by Isumi. 

"Enough!" Isumi snapped at the same time as Hikaru spouted something as well. 

"Stop it!" Waya froze, turning around, his eyes wide. The two friends started at each other before Hikaru shook his head, hands clenched at his sides. "I can't believe you… you…" He turned then, unable to finish his sentence and walked out, not bothering to slam the door behind him shut. 

"Wait… Hikaru!" Akira leaped to his feet, running as he followed what minutes before in his mind had only been his eternal rival. "Wait!" He called out again, nearly tripping over his own feet as ran down the stairs. "Damn you, Shindo! Will you wait?!" 

Tbc. I am soooo evil… therefore I will end this chapter here. J No worries the next ch. is coming up soon. Hope you like this story!!!


	4. 4

4 

            "Damn you, Shindo! Will you wait?!" The voice that had shouted this from behind him made Hikaru pause in his ever growing stride. It sounded almost pained. Not that he cared… after all… Damn it. He couldn't even hide it from himself anymore. It wasn't fair! He hadn't wanted this. Had never wanted this.

            Not Sai, not Go, not Touya, Akira… he had wanted nothing. And yet… His feet halted. They just stopped moving without even bothering to consult with him if this course of action was okay or not. 'I hate myself.' He thought more darkly than he had ever thought before. Hikaru turned, hearing the rapid footsteps slow as they neared him. Too soon, his own gray eyes caught hold of the bewildered green ones. 

            "What do you want?" He snapped. Those eyes widened on the flushed face. The usually tight lipped face with the ever so determined air to it was gone, leaving only another nineteen year old in its place. And suddenly the emotions that had never seemed to be quite readable were all there open in Touya, Akira's face. Hurt. Confusion. Anger as well. 

            "Is it true?" Akira demanded and then without even bothering to wait for an answer, he continued, advancing further still before he was actually forcing Hikaru to back away from him. "You don't even have to answer that if you don't feel like it. It's not that important but… why? Why didn't you even bother to come to the Go Salon today? You could have at least warned me! I was…" The words dwindled, the passion not less but more unsure as to where it was going. "I was worried." Hikaru's eyes widened at the admission and he hung his head, not quite knowing where this would lead if anywhere. 

            "…Gomen… I just couldn't…" He started. "Not if it was going to be the last time… I just couldn't pretend anymore and I was so sure that you would flip or just hate me… or just go silent like you've done before…I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if what Waya told you was true until you said you were leaving and I… I…" He was _not_ going to cry. Not here, not ever. Not in front of his friends, and definitely not in front of Touya. "I didn't want this." 

            "Does anyone ever do?" Akira suddenly asked, his voice a lot softer and calmer than before. When Hikaru looked up, he saw a pale but composed face. 

            "Lots… I thought… just not like… this…" He ended lamely. Akira regarded him for a moment, silent as if he was too deep in his thoughts. 

            "I'm sorry." He then started. "I never even noticed." Hikaru shook his head at the words, feeling more foolish than he had his whole life. "…I just," It was unnerving watching and listening to Akira fumble through his words. "You and Waya were right. I only saw and lived Go… it didn't even occur to me that…" He trailed off. "I don't know, Hikaru…" 

            "That makes two of us then." Hikaru tried with a smile but it left his face. "Please don't leave." He whispered. "I don't care if you don't feel the same way as I do… I just… please…stay in Japan. I need you…" He was horrified to find a tear trail down his tan cheek. "As funny as it may sound… I need you." He'd been abandoned already and he didn't think he could survive a second person leaving him, even if he knew it wouldn't be forever like it had been in Sai's case… he didn't want Akira to leave. Those serious green eyes continued to hold his gaze. 

            "I can't promise anything." Akira stated truthfully. "I don't know what I know anymore. I don't even know what _I_ want. I don't know you…You…" He shook his head, the shoulder length hair flying. Silence gathered once more around the two, ignored by the crowd of bodies that were walking around them. The nineteen year old sighed and broke eye contact as he started to speak. "How about this, I leave for China tomorrow as planned… allowing both of us time to think. I will help my parents move in and in a week's time I will come back with a real answer." He held a hand out and gently brushed a tear away from the other boy's cheek. Hikaru flinched, startled at the motion and his own hand rose, brushing the rest of the motion away. 

            "That's fair…I guess." He stated clearly, there was really nothing else to say. A week wasn't such a big deal. Hikaru knew that Akira had traveled before and left for longer. And he would be coming back… he would be. The two stared at each other longer. 

            "…I don't know what to say." 

            "Then shut up and go." Hikaru muttered. "I've made a fool of myself today… a bigger one than usual." Akira's lipped quirked up as if Hikaru's sudden change of tone, answered the question that had been shining in his green eyes. Was his rival okay? 

            "I don't know about that… Shindo." And then with a wave, the nineteen year old turned away. "Take care of yourself, Hikaru. I'll see you in a week." 

            "Come back safely…" Hikaru waved back, fighting an urge to go and run after the boy who had simply disappeared into the crowds. Somehow he had never quite pictured Akira finding out about his own emotions like this… and he didn't know if it was shock that he didn't feel more than simple relief that at least Akira didn't hate him. All in all… the other nineteen year old had taken this whole situation better than even _he_ had. He gave a little wry smile and shook his head. He wasn't ready to return to the apartment. He needed to think, to clear his thoughts out… to really understand what had taken place just minutes before. And more than that—he needed to figure out how to make one week pass as if only a few hours had. 

Tbc… I know this is a _really, really short chapter. Gomen! Hopefully the next few chapters will make up for it. If not… speak to my muses, they're the culprits… I'm just the messenger after all. J I still hope the story is good. Please let me know what you think!!! _


	5. 5

…This is the chapter that actually started this whole story. And guess what? This is the chapter that gave me the most trouble in writing it! Maa… Glares at chapter and then sighs. It's done now. I hope you still enjoy the story! 

I wanted to say a HUGE **THANK YOU!!! **To Karen for giving me support with this story!!!

Disclaimer—The song 'Distance' is not of my own creation. I just borrowed it. Smiles. Evan and Jaron are the ones who sing this song so that's where you can find it if you like the lyrics. Again… these characters are not my own… I just love them too much to leave them alone. They belong to Hikaru no Go's author!!!

5.         

            Akira gave a soft smile, thankful that the plane ride had finally come to an end. He got up, stretching his legs and at the same time reaching for his bag that was in the overhead compartment. With the still determined and controlled movements that he had always possessed, Touya Akira moved out of the plane, ready to face whatever China would give him and ready… to find an answer to a question he didn't quite know the wording to. 

With a last thought towards his eternal rival, the nineteen year old moved forward.

In Japan,

            A week. A week… a whole damn week without him there. Without the random meetings in Go salons or games. Hikaru brooded, glaring at the sky as he continued to sit near the window. There was nothing to do but wait. Wait for the time to pass, for the days to start and end, and for the distance between them to disappear, as seven days would eclipse away. He sighed and ran a hand almost carelessly through his hair. He was being foolish--more than any lovesick girl he had ever met had been. Worse than even Akari had been when she'd finally figured out that she was in love with Mitani. He closed his eyes and let his head fall forward so that his forehead was pressed into the cold windowpane. His breath clouded the window, leaving its mark. He didn't even know what answer Akira would bring with him when he returned from his trip. Perhaps that was the main reason Hikaru felt like he couldn't cope… felt like he couldn't live another day without his rival there with him.

The sky has lost its color  
the sun has turned to grey  
At least that's how it feels to me  
whenever you're away

His eyes fixed themselves on the clock on the wall, ignoring Waya's loud bantering and teasing. He knew his friend was trying to get him to relax, to think of other things. But it wasn't working. He just wanted Akira to come home. There was a dull pain in his chest where his heart lay. He gave an odd little smile as the minute hand moved down and then he shook his head. How the hell had he not noticed how hard he'd fallen for the other boy? How could he have missed the signs? And why did he have to realize them now that Akira was so far away? It wasn't fair. Akira would laugh at him if he saw how he was acting like right now. Not that he'd ever seen Akira laugh for that matter but still… Hikaru bit off a sigh and moved away from the clock, going instead to the door to reach for his coat. In a couple days… only a couple more days and then he'd know… and then Akira would be back… and it wouldn't really matter one way or another.

I crawl up in the corner  
To watch the minutes pass  
Each one brings me closer to   
The time you're coming back

He walked out of his apartment, closing his coat as he realized how fresh and cool the wind had become. Winter was coming. He turned his face towards the sky and let a smile tug at his lips. He wondered idly if Touya Akira had ever let himself play in the snow before. "Hey Shindo… wait up you baka." Waya's voice called out from behind. Hikaru turned to see him and Isumi, surprised and was given an understanding smile. "Come on… We haven't been to see Kawai-san in ages." The redhead placed an arm over his friend's shoulder and promptly started to drag him over in the direction of the Go salon where years before Isumi, Waya, and he had played against three old fogies… dispelling his fear of older go players. The smile that had been tugging at his lips minutes before left only because Hikaru felt that he should at least protest a bit at being handled like a sack of potatoes. The smile though stayed in his eyes, for once all thoughts of distance pushed a bit further away. The shouts of the two professional go players did nothing to scare the crowd around them and Isumi sighed, a hand coming to touch the side of his head as if a small headache was starting to throb there.

As night came and the games of Go filled with laughter and petty insults died away, Hikaru was left once again to his thoughts. His grey green eyes darkened with emotion as he once again went back to staring out the window. "Goodnight Akira…" He whispered to himself. 

I can't take the distance  
I can't take the miles  
I can't take the time   
Until I next see you smile  
I can't take the distance  
And I'm not ashamed   
That with every breath I take  
I'm calling your name  
But I can't take the distance

            He marked a day off the calendar with a barely suppressed grin, down two days…only five more to go. Hikaru ignored quite pointedly the desperate sigh that came from Waya's direction and sat down for a quick breakfast that thank the god, had been cooked by Isumi and not Waya. Hikaru already knew what was the cause of Waya's sigh and he really didn't want to go through the endless teasing that he knew would come if he made even one comment about it. Between mouthfuls he was saved by Isumi who gently asked if he had a match today or a go tutoring lesson planned that day. Shaking his head to the first yet nodding to the next, Hikaru managed to swallow what he had been chewing on. 

            "Akari…" He muttered at Waya's questioning look. The other boy nodded after he reminded himself who it was, a grin on his face. "…dunno know why she wants to continue." Hikaru continued slowly, knowing he was distracting himself but reassuring the others with his usual mindless chatter. "She sucks at Go. Always has, always will." Waya rolled his eyes and gave a little snort. "What?!" 

            "Well look at her teacher…" The redhead ducked, missing being punched by mere inches. 

I still believe my feelings  
But sometimes I feel too much  
I make believe you're close to me  
But it ain't close enough  
Not nearly close enough

            Another day was gone and over. Hikaru stretched, pausing in his movement when his arms were over his head, clasped together with his hands. How many days were left? He closed his eyes. Three? Something like that. A sigh passed through his lips and he let his body relax, falling onto the makeshift bed on the couch that Waya and Isumi had made for him during his short stay. After having made himself comfortable, the half bleached blond boy let his mind wander. He wondered what China was like and if Akira was going to meet up with any of their adversaries that he knew of. A wry grin came to his face as he imagined further the tall pale boy fighting over a Go board. That determined look on his face that Hikaru knew so well…

The image stayed with him throughout the night and the next day as well, bringing a soft comfort as Hikaru tried to wait as patiently as he could.

I can't take the distance  
I can't take the miles  
I can't take the time  
Until I next see you smile  
I can't take the distance  
And I'm not ashamed  
That with every breath I take  
I'm calling your name

Next day…

            "I just don't get it…" Waya muttered softly, carefully trying to not be overheard by the boy he knew was resting on the couch. He turned to Isumi, who was preparing the ingredients that would be needed to make dinner on the kitchen counter, his amber eyes serious. "What the heck does he see in that arrogant…" He waved a hand, assuming that Isumi knew whom he was talking about. Isumi gave a small smile and shrugged. 

            "I don't know Waya. I could only guess… if you wanted an exact answer you'd have to ask Shindo yourself." To that Waya made a face and huffed a sigh. The last thing he wanted was to hear somebody, who was obviously head over heels, list off the reasons of why they were that way. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the most bizarre mental image of Shindo with eyes the shape of hearts, sighing blissfully as he spoke of Touya, Akira. The thought made him shiver with disgust and amusement. 

            "I'll pass… thanks." He muttered, scowling at his best friend and lover who in return just chuckled softly. They stayed comfortable in the silence, sharing each other's company. It was Waya who broke the silence, his amber eyes full of an emotion that took Isumi a moment or two to figure out what it was. Pained understanding. "…I thought… you'd never come back either." The younger man continued, washing the vegetables like he'd been doing before, carefully avoiding looking in the dark blue eyes he knew were watching him. "I would have done anything… anything at all to have you back home…" He trailed off, shaking the last of the water off the vegetables and dumping them ungraciously into the awaiting pot. "Seeing Shindo… makes me relive every moment I waited to get news from you." Waya gave a little startled sigh as the taller boy came from behind him, wrapping warm and strong arms around him, his head dropping to rest on Waya's shoulder. 

            "I came back…" 

            "Aa…you came back." The redhead smiled, his own arms coming to entangle with those that were wrapped around him. 

I'd brave fire and I'd brave rain  
To be by your side  
I'd do anything  
I can't take the distance

            There was only a day left. One day left and it was killing him. He just couldn't sit still. He asked again for Waya to retrieve the e-mail Akira had sent them. The redhead snarled something that was not understandable in the least making Hikaru harass him further. After a few minutes of heated shouting, Isumi came in a frown on his face. 

            "If you two keep this up, the neighbors will start to complain." He snapped, surprising both of them. "What is going on anyway?" The situation was explained and the look of exasperation on Isumi's face was priceless. "Waya… stop torturing Shindo, print the e-mail out for him if you're so sick of repeating it to him and Shindo… leave Waya alone for god's sake. You know how he gets when it concerns Touya. So don't push it." He turned to leave, not taking any notice to the two open mouthed and blinking boys he left behind. Hikaru was the one who first came back from his surprise. 

            "I didn't know Isumi-kun _got angry!" He hissed out, making sure to keep his voice low. Waya continued to blink. _

            "Oh no…" He moaned. "A bitchy boyfriend…help! This is all your fault Shindo!" 

            "Hey, don't you start! All I asked for was…"  And on and on it continued, making the minutes tick away gently as the day continued to fade away.

I will go the distance  
I will go the miles  
That's how much you mean to me  
I can't take the distance  
I can't take these miles  
I can't take the time  
Until I next see you smile  
I can't take the distance   
And I'm not ashamed  
That with every breath  
I take I'm calling your name  
I can't take the distance

Day of Akira's arrival…

Hikaru ran to where Akira's apartment building lay, ignoring the rain as he let his excitement over any rational thought. There were only a couple more hours and then Akira would be back… he would be back. The thought made his heart skip a bit and a wild grin made its way on his face. The waiting would soon be over. 

A/N… oh my god!!! This chapter _is_ done. Does a little dance. Smiles. I just couldn't resist the little Waya and Isumi cuteness… grins.  

So how was it??? Was it bad, good…??? Lol. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm gonna run off to continue writing.


	6. 6

6.

            Akira was tired as he allowed the soft rhythm of the taxi transporting him to lull him slightly into a light sleep. The heat was on nearly at full blast in the car and Akira was only too grateful about that. Winter had come early in Japan it seemed and it was cold. He'd never been fond of the cold. With a slight smile, he wondered idly what his rival would say to that… or for a more amusing yet slightly bitter thought, what Waya would think. Touya, Akira was not as oblivious as to what most people thought of him…cold, silent…arrogant. 

            He opened his eyes, shaking away the last dredges of sleep. In only a couple minutes he'd be home again. Akira looked out the window, watching as the many houses past by zipping out of sight the minute they had come into sight. He also saw the water from the raindrops dribbling down the car's window and he was thankful again that he was dry and warm inside the taxi cab. He was taken from his thoughts as the driver suddenly started talking. 

            "You're here lad. That'll be…" The older man muttered a price and Akira looked down, fishing for his wallet. Pulling the money out that was needed he leaned forward, handing it to the man in front. 

            "Arigato." Akira said, always polite. The older man nodded his head. 

            "Touya-san… good luck for your next match." Surprise by that since the driver had never mentioned Go during the entire ride, Akira could only smile his thanks and then grab his suitcase that had been resting beside him during the car ride.

It was only when he turned away from the cab that his eyes focused on a dejected and huddled form…

…

            Akira was late. At first that thought had been met with Hikaru's normal wildly cheerful spirit. His grin never wavered--it simply grew because for the first time he'd known the cool and collected Go player, he was late. And that meant he could tease him about it. 

            But when an hour passed and when the cold rain had finally managed to soak through his shirt, Hikaru's good mood simply shattered. He stayed where he was, afraid to leave because what if the minute he moved away Akira appeared? It was as simple as that. So he stayed, shivering. The doubt that had been festering in his mind simply overflowing and mixing with the fear that had always been with him. Akira was never this late… never…unless…

            He wasn't coming back. After a week of waiting… Hikaru finally figured it out. Touya, Akira was not coming back. Hikaru's position slumped, his body curving in on itself as he hugged his knees to his chest, keeping only a little body warmth to him. How stupid could he have been… stupid! STUPID! He bit his lip. He was so stupid. This was why Akira had taken the news so well… why he hadn't even flinched or been disgusted or afraid or… He wasn't going to come back. It was so simple and obvious and yet, Hikaru had bought the whole thing. 

            He'd been abandoned once more. First Sai and now…

            The nineteen year old still couldn't move, despite the fact that he was completely sure now that Akira had never planned on coming back—that he had been fooled. Hikaru simply closed his eyes. It wasn't worth the effort of getting up again… and he didn't want to have to face the others. A burst of shame mixed with the pain and this time he could do nothing to hold back the warm tears that prickled his eyes. 

            "Shindo?" The voice was surprised, almost horrified. It took more than the sound of his voice to snap Hikaru out of his misery, so certain that it was just a figment of his imagination there to torture him further. "Shin…" A hand grabbed him at his shoulder and tugged. "..do?" He opened his eyes, letting himself be pulled up and the sight that greeted him, made relief flood his body. A small drop of warmth building in his insides, casting aside the ice that had wrapped itself inside of him. "What are you doing here?" Akira looked aghast to say the least. He let go of Hikaru's shoulder, once sure that the other could and would stand up on his own. Fumbling with his keys, he opened the door to the apartment complex and yanked his eternal rival inside the dry and warm building. Hikaru's eyes were focused on his every move, surprise and disbelief shadowing them until… "Idiot! Why the heck were you just standing in the rain without even an umbrella to protect you?"… that was snapped at his face. His eyes simply lit up. This was Akira… he… he had come home. Pushing away the hand that was shaking him as well as pulling him into the elevator, Hikaru smiled. And one famous 'Touya-Shindo' fight coming right up. 

            "You're late! It's your fault! You said you'd be here by four! And here it's now six something…" He started, making Akira look at him as if he was insane. 

            "Shindo…"

            "Stop calling me that! Its Hikaru… Hi-ka-ru! You haven't been gone _that_ long to have forgotten that much, have you? Baka…" 

            "You…you're impossible! I can't believe you've been waiting in the rain for that long. Don't you know how to use a computer, _Hikaru?"_  Akira snapped back, his cheeks flushing at being reprimanded when it was this idiot who was at fault. "My flight was delayed I couldn't do anything about it but you could have checked online and figured it out! So don't blame me for your stupidity!" 

            "I'm not stupid!" Hikaru shot back, a perplexed look on his face. "And I've never traveled on plane… how was I supposed to know about delays and…" He pouted. "You could have told me that I could see how your flight was going on the internet! It's still your fault and you were _still_ late!" He paused, allowing himself to catch his breath. "Now you can't keep complaining about me being late all the time…" 

            "I can't believe this." Akira muttered, shaking his head. His hand reached out and grabbed his eternal rival's hand, pulling him out of the elevator and eliciting a small sound of surprise at being handled like this. "Hikaru…" Akira almost had a pained look on his face as he tried to explain with a touch of exasperation how he had told the other boy all he had needed to know before he had left. "…why do you think I sent you that e-mail with my flight information? It was so you could be able to track my flight if you so needed to." He shook his head again, a slightly amused smile gracing his pale face. His warm hand unclasped Hikaru's and immediately the half bleached boy missed the touch. He was about to protest again when those serious green eyes snapped in his direction. So the argument that really wasn't an argument faded away and Hikaru was left to shiver as he waited for Akira to open the door to his apartment. The door was opened and Hikaru was waved inside. "Stay here, I'll get some clothes for you… baka." He left Hikaru blinking and realizing how cold he was. The warmth was a bit too much as it bit at his stiff hands, still that didn't do anything to lessen the feelings of relief that Akira's face had brought him. "Here. It'll be a bit big but… it should do. Bathroom is that door." He was handed a pile of clothes and towels by Akira who had just reappeared from another room. "I'll be in the kitchen making you some soup in hopes that you won't get sick." 

            Minutes later, when he had cursed his hands for not working properly, a dry Hikaru made his way into the kitchen. At the table was a bowl of soup, a curl of steam rising from it, was waiting for him as well as Akira who sat at the table with his eyes closed. Quietly, Hikaru sat down. 

            "Thank you…" The green eyes opened and looked at him strangely. 

            "You're welcome." 

Hikaru tried to wrap his fingers around the spoon, wincing as he did so because they hurt! And they were starting to feel itchy and… he made a face. So this hadn't been one of his brightest ideas but… he had just wanted to see Akira. That was all… he had wanted to know and had wanted to spend time with the other Go player. He'd missed him. The spoon clattered on the table and Akira sighed, getting up and moving so that he was sitting next to Hikaru. He took the spoon himself. 

            "Oh god… no! No. No. And no. I've been humiliated too many times… Akira… no." The nineteen year old pro with the shoulder length hair ignored him as he dipped the spoon back into the soup. He also ignored the pout and the obstinate way Hikaru was holding himself, with his arm crossed against his chest and his head continuing to shake in a negative manner.

            "Open wide Hikaru." The smile that was on the pale boy's face made Hikaru's own face burn bright red. 

            "This is _not happening." _

            "If you'd at least brought an umbrella and proper, warm clothes… it wouldn't be. Now open up… my arm is starting to hurt." With some more grumbling, Hikaru finally submitted to being fed and tried to keep his blushing down to a minimum to no avail. "Why did you wait so long, Hikaru? You could have at least taken a more appropriate shelter…" Akira's eyes were as usual, haunting in their depth as he held Hikaru's gaze. His tone was gentle though same with his movements as he continued to take care of the half frozen boy. Looking down at the soup bowl as if it somehow was now the most interesting object in the room, Hikaru clasped his itchy and still numb hands together in his lap. It was awhile before he could finally bring himself to answer. 

            "I missed you." At first he was startled as he felt something wet make its way down his face. Then he was horrified, sure that it was a tear. To his surprise though it wasn't. He heard Akira sigh, moving away only to come back with a towel. Again with gentle hands he brought the towel to Hikaru's head and began to slowly dry the wet hair that Hikaru had forgotten to take care of in his hurry. The slight tugging at his hair was soothing and he relaxed under the ministrations. 

            "Baka…" Akira whispered, letting the towel drop around Hikaru's shoulders when he was sure that the hair was as dry as he could make it. 

            "…I know…" Another silence wrapped itself around the two, Akira picking the spoon back up and twirling the rest of the soup that was in the bowl, his eyes seeming far away, as if he was lost in his own thoughts. Hikaru was lost in his own emotions and thoughts. The initial relief dwindling down as he now waiting for something to happen…anything at all. He was also feeling foolish and a bit scared. 

            "I've decided…" Akira started softly, startling Hikaru from his reverie. "…to stay in Japan for aw—" The young man never got to finish his sentence, gasping instead as the shorter of the two suddenly wrapped his arms around him, hugging Akira for the first time. With his face buried in Akira's chest, there was nothing left to wait for, nothing left to say. And a real smile touched his face for the time in days. The distance was gone, the walls were gone… and now they simply could be.

A/N- Oro… scratches head. Was that sappy and pointless or was it sappy and pointless? Shakes her head and laughs.

Hope you guys enjoyed this fic! I had fun writing it and it actually allowed me to meet some really nice people out there!!! Thank you for all the support that was given to me by Karen, Flame-spectre and many other reviewers. You guys are the best! 


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